Castlevania: Harmony of Despair

On August 23, 2010, In Gaming, By Nuke

Oy, it’s been a long time since I last left a videogame review. There are times where I wonder why I don’t usually bother with videogame reviews. But then I remember that it’s because everyone has their own opinion on things. Regardless, I’m giving out a review today.

Platform: Multiplayer Adventure
Consoles Available on: X-Box 360
Pointed out by 1up.com, Castlevania: Harmony of Despair may be released on Sony’s PlayStation Network if the game sells well on Microsoft’s Xbox Live Arcade.

You ever wondered what it’d be like if you get various different heroes of the Castlevania series together into one game? Sounds like a dream right? Guess what? That dream became a reality.

All 5 playable characters working together. You can't tell me this doesn't look fun.

Castlevania HD is a throwback to the old 2D sprite style days of gaming, with a mix of HD thrown in. Co-op is the stand out feature to this game. Sure, you CAN go to single player and go through the levels yourself, but as you do so, you’ll find out that this game was built with co-op play in mind. While it’s been assured that you can always get to the boss of the level by yourself, you’ll find that you can’t complete certain puzzles without at least having one co-op buddy with you. (Mind you, the puzzles are simple, but still impossible without co-op help) Also, it helps to have a co-op buddy who can just go to the door that needs to be opened while you go flip the switch. That way, your co-op buddy can start clearing out the room beyond the door while you’re taking your time to back track your way to that same opened door.

Co-op play goes up to 6 players, but only if you have internet to work with. In fact, there’s no split-screen co-op to this game at all. Given as to how they made this game though, it may have proven difficult to throw in a workable split-screen co-op. For one, in order to not halt the action of the level, the developers would have had to remove the ability to swap equipment during the mission using the book known as the Grimoire, which you can find during missions as “waypoints”. Regardless of the lack of split-screen though, co-op is still fun. In fact, co-op play is the true way to experience this particular Castlevania game. You’re probably wondering how you can play with up to 6 people when there’s only 5 characters to choose from. The answer is simple. Color Palette swap. There’s a total of 6 different colors to choose from for each character. This means that it’s entirely possible to have a rainbow colored army of Soma’s running around dominating the map. (And every other character for that matter)

Speaking of characters, lets go over that. Each of the 5 characters play out the same way they play out in the specific Castlevania titles they respectively appear in. Soma can harness souls and gather monster abilites to use. Alucard can use his “Mist” form ability and learn various dark magic spells. Jonathan can use martial arts, as well as traditional Castlevania secondary items. Shanoa can use glyphs, including “Magnes” which allows her to use metal spheres to launch herself around. Finally, Charlotte can bind monsters to her book and use them in the form of spells. So in other words, the character you choose to play as determines how you approach the game. On a quick note, Charlotte is the only character who’s incapable of performing the Aerial Kick to step upon enemies, so watch yourself with Charlotte if you intend to jump over a big enemy.

The length of the game comes up short. There’s only six levels and six bosses. If you’ve got powerful equipment all around and a good team, you can complete this game in about 3 hours. Note that I said “powerful equipment” in there. When you first start, you have weak equipment… the kind of stuff that you just want to throw away the first chance you have. In other words, expect to have your butt handed to you on a royal platter when you first begin the game. Also, another reason why the game can last so short is because each stage in this game has a 30 minute time limit to it. You have to find the boss and kill it before half an hour passes. Lucky for you, they added a feature to help ease your troubles a bit.

Behold! The map zoomed out!

Yes, you can see the entire layout of the castle that you’re in. I feel the need to point out here that there’s a total of six castles for you to explore instead of just one. (Err… does level 3 even COUNT as a castle? More like dungeon/cave) You can even play through the level with the map zoomed out like this, but I wouldn’t recommend it. You can hardly see what you’re doing zoomed out like that. By the way, you can adjust the zoom by clicking the right control stick. There are even options as to how you want the camera to zoom, so be sure to check that out if you get this game. Despite the fact that being able to zoom out and see the entire stage may leave you disappointed with the fact that you don’t need to explore, it helps. Period. It also allows you to see exactly where your allies are if you have any.

I mentioned equipment earlier. Lets get back into that. Just so you know, in order to access your equipment menu, you have to select “Main Menu”. I’m pretty sure the developers missed that, because last I checked, “Main Menu” is supposed to take you back to the… well… main menu. Not the equipment menu. (In a slight defense though, selecting “main menu” will take you to a menu where you can do more than just adjust the equipment of your character) Anyway, there is no such thing as leveling up in this game. Period. Do away with farming for EXP, cause you ain’t getting any. In order to survive in this game, you need to properly manage your equipment and character abilites. Special abilites, such as using magic, will actually get stronger in time. The more you use it, the stronger it gets. (This isn’t the case with Soma though. His abilites get stronger by absorbing many monster souls) Having your character get stronger in using his/her abilites will also somehow result in your character becoming more familar in using their actual equipped weapon, resulting in more damage than usual. So in short… proper equipment and the right strong skills will see you to your survival.

For those who haven’t realized it yet, this game has a very heavy arcade style feel to it. If you picked up this game expecting to have some heavy story driven plot, prepare to be disappointed. There’s hardly any story to this game… if at all. In fact, the entire story can be summed up in this quote from a Wiki:

“The story, such as it is, involves a cursed book called the Grimoire, in which the story of the evil citadel Castlevania is recorded. However the castle comes to life within the pages of the book, taking various forms from previous incarnations, and the heroes of the past, also recorded in the book and coming to life within its pages, must once again fight to put an end to the curse. This story allows characters from eras ranging from 1797 to 2036 to come together in the same castle to fight evil.”

Really. That’s it. There’s no story based cutscenes in the game itself. If you want a multiplayer game that has story cutscenes and plot to it, I suggest you try getting the MMO game Guild Wars instead.

One of the spots that the developers REALLY nailed was the leaderboards. The top 10 players of a level will automatically have replay videos of their run through the level available for download, allowing you to see EXACTLY how they got through the level. Mind you, this only works with the single player leaderboard though. There are no replay videos for co-op play and the like… which I was kind of disappointed in. This not only allows for a special type of guide for the players who are having trouble with a level watch and see how a pro did it, but it allows for competitive play to take place as well. In this case, I’m referring to seeing how your “rival” did the level, and then trying to come up with a better and faster way of getting through the level than your “rival”. Speaking of competition… feeling REALLY competitive? Then instead of co-op mode or single player, maybe you should try “Survival Mode”. In this mode, it’s every man/woman for himself/herself. Course, since this isn’t any pure fighting game like Super Smash Bros or Marvel VS Capcom, what it all boils down to is just mashing buttons to beat up the rival players. … … ok, there IS strategy involved truth be told. Knowing what abilites you assigned your character along with their equipment can give you an edge against the opponent(s). Even what character you’re playing as can make all the difference.

Did you beat chapter 6? Guess what. You’re not done. After you finish chapter 6, hard mode is unlocked. Now you have to go through the same 6 chapters… only the enemies have seen serious buffs. (Down to those mere zombies) The layout of the enemies on the map has changed as well. In fact, some of the more powerful enemies that were only found in the later chapters CAN NOW BE FOUND ON THE FIRST CHAPTER! Good luck. You’ll need it.

For those who don’t have mics for quick communication, no worries. The developers saw fit to include a communication window that you can access with the select button. This chat wheel comes complete with just about everything you need to deliver your exact thoughts. Another neat thing about the chat window is that full voice acting comes with this stuff, as the character you’re playing as will actually say something related to the option you chose. Why do I say related? Well, lets say you’re playing as Soma right now. You pop open the chat window and select “oops!”. The text bubble “oops!” appears above Soma’s head, but the word “Crap!” comes flying out of Soma’s mouth instead. Fancy that.

A lot of people (including other reviewers) seem to overlook this, BUT THERE IS A “How to play” OPTION TO BE FOUND IN THE “Help & Options” MENU! It says “Help” right there when you first turn the game on and when you access the [i]true[/i] main menu. Anyway, when you go into that menu, there, you have access to things like adjusting the window colors of your text bubbles, the “How to Play” section, and even a section where you’re allowed to adjust what music plays on what stage. (This includes boss fight music) Speaking of music, there’s a total of 17 songs to choose from. So even if you were to have a different song for each and every level and boss fight, you still wouldn’t be able to use them all. (Though future promised DLC may resolve this)

There is one more thing I should point out before I start wrapping things up. Two words: Dual Crush. (Double Techniques)

I'm not entirely sure about this one, but I'd say that's a Dual Crush too.

Boom baby.

When certain conditions are met, and you’re playing with other people, it’s entirely possible to have 2 people team up and perform a team attack. The first person requests it, and another person on the team recieves the message if they want to join the first person in a team attack. If the reciever accepts the request in the time limit allowed upon the request, the 2 will join forces for a team attack. I haven’t gotten to try this myself yet, but I’d love to team up for a double tech attack at least once.

Well, I think it’s about time I wrap this up. I’ll do what I do with the rest of my reviews these days:

Pros:
1: The gameplay is smooth. No glitches.
2: Multiplayer. Period.
3: Leaderboards are astounding. It allows for another form of competitive play for those who MUST take on the world’s top players.
4: Sufficent chat window for those who don’t have a mic for quick communication.

Cons:
1: Far too short of a game… if you’re doing really well mind you. Chances are, you’re first time through will end up with you getting your behind handed to you on a royal platter.
2: No story really. If you were looking for a grand story, then you’re playing the wrong game. Go look up a different Castlevania title.
3: No time for exploration really. Just run in, grab the chests, and beat the boss in a 30 minute time limit. (Not sure if I should count this as a con, considering how arcade style games work)

Game Status:
Story = 1/10: Err… what story?
Gameplay = 9/10: If you’re here for that arcade style beat-em-up type of gameplay with multiple people, then this game will deliver just that to you in a near perfect way.
Voice Acting = 10/10: There isn’t much to be had to begin with. What little voice acting there is though sounds just right.
Music = 8/10: Decent music mostly. For some odd reason though, the multiplayer menu music doesn’t sit right with my ears. That’s just me though.
Graphics = 9/10: This game WAS MADE with 2D sprites in mind. So that’s exactly what we got. That being said, the sprites and backgrounds are pretty nice. They also threw in HD graphics, which are most noticable when you throw out magic spells. And also, for the first time apparently, this Castlevania title comes complete with HD resoultion. Has anyone figured out how clever the developers were with the title of this game yet? No? You just noticed now?
Lasting Appeal = 10/10: With 5 starting characters to play as, that’s a lot of character development time on your hands if you see fit to use every single character and max out their abilities. Add 3 appeal points to that if you’re into character growth. Confirmed future downloadable content that comes with more characters AND stages? Add another 3 lasting appeal points then. The addition of Hard mode for those who really want a challenge from the monsters? Add another 3 lasting appeal points to that. Leaderboards and the self imposed challenge of shattering the #1 record for the highly competitive gamers? Add the final lasting appeal point then. If none of that works out for you… then this game will probably just last you about 3 hours to a whole week. (Depending on how much trouble you’re having and if you have a good team to work with)

Overall Rating = 8/10: If multiplayer co-op is something you’ve always wanted off of the Castlevania series, then this game is for you. Players who were expecting a story though will probably find themselves waiting even longer for the next “proper” 2D Castlevania game. Let me get one thing straight. This game has been promised to have downloadable content in the future. 2 additional characters are apparently set for release some time in the future for those who have this game. This means even more character development time on your hands if you feel up to it. There’s also additional stages on the way as well, so be on the lookout for that if you get this game.

Do I recommend this game? Yes, but it depends on your tastes too. If you don’t mind the arcade style beat-em-up games like this Castlevania game is presenting, then by all means, pick this up so that we can hunt monsters together. However, if you think Castlevania should stick to having a story driven plot, then you should just wait for the next Castlevania game. You actually aren’t missing much if you decide to pass on this title.

This entire review was brought to you by someone who has never picked up and played any Castlevania title until this game.

Tagged with: game

On August 22, 2010, In Forum News, By Malpercio

Hey guys. I just wanted to make you aware of a few changes around Fades.

First of all, any members who were of the “newbie” membergroup, I took the liberty of assigning you a different group. I did this so that I could go through and easily get rid of the hundreds of spam bots that had created accounts and never posted. If any “real” members were deleted, you have my sincere apology. If you have questions concerning how to change a membergroup, I’m fairly certain I posted instructions somewhere, but I’m currently too lazy to look it up.

In an effort to cut down on the number of spam bots making accounts, I have now set up a procedure in which when a member is registered, they will automatically be placed in a membergroup that can only read the Annoucements and read/write in the Introductions. I will soon make a post detailing the procedure a new member must follow to become a full member of the community.

I think I made some other changes around the site, but I can’t quite remember right now.

As a side note, I am now in real college, and not summer courses, just finished up with marching band camp. Classes start tomorrow. Should be fun.

As always let me know if you have any questions, comments, or rude remarks.

Keep making blog posts, stay classy, and go Bears.

Slug’s Summer Anime 2010 (among other things)

On August 20, 2010, In Uncategorized, By slug_man

I’m not going to be ranking any of these, mostly because I’m lazy and school starts next week. These are just some of the anime I had the mixed pleasure of watching this summer, and I think my level of like/dislike should be evident from the respective reviews of each. In no particular order (alphabetical) I’ll talk about each one of these weeaboo monstrosities that only deepen my resolve that humanity is rapidly going off the deep end. I’m going to hell after watching episode 7 of Strike Witches, I know it.

Amagami SS

Based on some Japanese dating sim, Amagami explores each “route” you can take in the game. It devotes 4-episode segments to each girl, and specialized ED music for each (essentially singles sung by the respective voice actors). The show executes this well, and makes nods to the other routes as you go. As far as content, its basically average. It plays out like the textbook example of a harem, with the male lead getting the babes. I sometimes wonder if they’ll show the bad end (they’re up to episode 8 right now), but I’m already looking forward to some of the other girls that come in later. The first two were relatively boring and predictable, but later on he’s supposed to hook up with the class president (yandere type: nice and kind on the outside, sick and cruel on the inside) and his little sister’s best friend (its apparently not going to be as awesome as I think, but I always expect disappointment from any characters with DRILL HAIR). The pace is slow, and sometimes the show weirds out with some fucked-up fetishes. This guy just can’t make out and have sex with girls like normal people. I’ll try not to spoil it, but let’s just say he can’t ever kiss any of these girls on the lips the first time.

Also known as: "Sex hair: THE ANIME"

Black Rock Shooter OVA

My expectations were too high for this show going in. It wasn’t bad, I just expected a lot of kick-ass fights and awesome good-versus-evil fighting between BRS and Black Gold Saw. Rather, its paced like a character drama with cuts to action scenes which don’t make any sort of sense until the end of the episode, and even then its kind of lame. Really, the plight between Takanashi Yomi and Kuroi Mato tugs at the heartstrings a bit, but it just strums along predictably until the end. Definitely the highlight of the show is the KILLER original soundtrack. The only recognizable song in the bunch is the original Black Rock Shooter song, and even then its only for a short bit. The rest is original music, and near as I can tell isn’t from any of the other Miku songs. Someone should probably correct me on that but I don’t think so. The OVA runs for 40 minutes and the plot alternates between glued-to-the-screen interest and downright boredom.

Cat Shit One

I came bullets. Its not even anime so I won’t dwell on this. The actual movie’s coming out soon and I will definitely be watching.

High School of the Dead

This was the show everyone and their perverted dad were looking forward to. I have to admit that I never read the manga, but all my nerdy friends did. This was the one show they could not shut up about: saying it was the next big thing. And why not? It’s the same director and studio that did Death Note, so how is this show NOT basically shitting money for the struggling studio, Madhouse? I have to admit, I was excited. I mean, it basically combines two things I wouldn’t mind bringing a gun to: High schools and zombie apocalypses. When the show started airing, however, it reminded me why I hate my dumb weeaboo friends (they are, after all, the ones who told me that One Piece and Bleach are essentially masterpieces). The show is riddled, no, absolutely SATURATED with fanservice.

Remember when this show was about zombies? Me neither!

I’m sure there’s some depth to the characterization. No, really, I believe its in there somewhere. Right now, I can’t see it past the nuclear tits and fucking GIGANTIC asses these girls have. What pisses me off the most was that when I complained about this show to my weeaboo friends, they simply responded with, “Didn’t you read the manga? What did you expect?” I think I broke my fist on his nose.

Narutaru

This one’s an old one, and Itachi had one of the characters from this show as his avatar for a time. It’s a deconstruction of the -mons genre. What happens if we give children dangerous animals to train and fight? Narutaru answers that question.

And the answer is they stick test tubes up your vagina and punch you in the stomach

Ookamisan to Shichinin no Nakamatachi

Also known as the story of big Taiga. I dropped the show after the second episode. Annoying kuroko from railgun is the narrator, and I don’t think I can stomach another tsundere female lead. I think I may shoot myself. I can’t even get into how retarded the plotline is, so I won’t. Just don’t watch this show.

Seikimatsu Occult Gakuin

Probably the biggest surprise this summer, Occult Academy is fun to watch. It centers around a school (academy is really the proper term for such a school) famous for weird shit happening around it. This period piece takes place in 1999, and features a girl who came to own the school, and a guy coming back in time from 2012 – from when the world ended – to try and stop a chain of events that leads to Earth’s destruction. This comedy/drama is definitely the funniest thing to come out this summer. What kills me is the way they do some of the humor, almost as if its making fun of how seriously it takes itself at times. It makes short edits to slapstick scenes, with a cut-away to other scenes which otherwise would not have lent to the humor of the episode. Character development is blended with plot development, which makes for good pacing of the series. It also takes on a two-episode miniplot format, not unlike Darker Than Black, all the while moving the plot right along.

I’m not comparing it to an obviously superior series, but this series is definitely not one to pass up.

Shi Ki

Higurashi with vampires. A weird family moves into a victorian-style home in a small town, and suddenly people start dying from twin bug bites on their arms and necks. WHAT COULD IT BE? The show isn’t nearly as lame as it sounds, mostly because it keeps the tension VERY high, similar to Higurashi. It slows down at episode 3, but I had trouble sleeping at night after I watched episode 4. After that they start killing off the characters I didn’t like and things were suddenly interesting again.

peekaboo!

Good hook, and I’m interested in seeing where the series goes. There isn’t much mystery, but the show tries to play it off as one by making the doctor and the priest complete asshats (“Nothing is wrong with any of these people except that they all have these bite wounds. I WONDER WHAT KILLED THEM? NOPE, I’M STUMPED.”).

Strike Witches Season 1 & 2

I finished watching season 1 this summer, something I’ve been putting off after I watched the first episode early last semester out of guilt. I picked it up again and powerhoused through the 13 episode lolifest, with only a few scars on my psyche to show for it (I finished watching episode 7 a changed man). There’s barely any plot to speak of, other than instead of WW2 happening, the world just gets invaded by aliens (“I swear, these people would be fighting each other if it weren’t for the Neuroi“) and its up to a rag-tag team of pantless lolis with machine guns, sniper rifles, and rocket launchers to protect the rest of the world from an obviously superior fighting force from across the galaxy. Despite the nearly ENDLESS panty shots, there are a number of great nods to WW2 history.

but mostly panty shots.

Whichever moron told me that the fanservice decreases after episode 3 is a goddamn liar. It’s pretty uniform throughout (again, with an exception to episode 7) almost as a constant reminder that you’re a goddamn pedofile. Imagine my surprise when I found out they were releasing a second season this summer, and imagine my continued surprise when I saw how GODDAMN BEAUTIFUL the show was this time around. Strike Witches 1 must’ve sold extremely well in both Japan and the US (the dub is hilarious) to warrant some of the best art design I’ve seen this summer. They seriously knock it out of the park episode after episode in terms of animation quality (and panty detail). I feel guilty praising this second season, because let’s face it, someone, somewhere is masturbating to these girls with their leg-planes and gigantic WW2 weapons. FEELS BAD MAN.

OTHER STUFF I DIDN’T WATCH BUT REALLY SHOULD:

Kuroshitsuji 2 (unfortunately I’m not a fujoshi)

Seitokai Yakuindomo (but sex jokes just aren’t funny to me any more)

Digimon: Xros wars (hahahahahaha)

Basara 2 (PUT YA GUNS ON!)

Mitsudumoe (You suck, virgin!)

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

On August 14, 2010, In Movies, By Aranel

It’s very easy for a gamer to fall in love with Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. The opening segment tugs at gaming nostalgia about 45 seconds into the movie, and the references just keep on rolling. Then it gets ruined by the opening credits, which surely gave somebody a seizure. Although I’m not sure I fully loved Scott Pilgrim, the fact that I’m listing the opening credits as my least favorite part of the movie has to say something about how enjoyable the actual film is.

For those who somehow managed to avoid the monstrous ad campaign, Scott Pilgrim is about the titular character’s (Micahael Cera) quest for the love of the girl of his dreams, Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead). It’s a quest hampered by all of Scott’s friends and his girlfriend, Knives Chau (Ellen Wong). But it’s no chick flick (well, not entirely). Instead of having to sit through watching Scott win over Ramona’s friends and family and other types of mind-numbing romantic comedy cliches, we get to watch Scott literally fight for Ramona in highly stylized battles against her 7 evil exes.

When talking Scott Pilgrim, you have to start with director Edgar Wright. His handling of the film will likely be hit and miss depending on the viewer. I was enthralled by what was essentially a comic book come to life with some helping of video game thrown in; my father found it all very distracting. There’s more to Wright’s direction to just adding in some words or the occasional HUD, he cuts from scene to scene very rapidly, often with a creative transition. At first this serves as a neat way to illustrate how lost Scott is, but later it felt as though the quick transitions were necessary to cram the remaining 5 evil exes into the last hour. There is rarely a dull moment (though the last 20 minutes drag at times) as the screen is always occupied with a fight, crazy special effects, or some genuine comedic moments.

There isn’t a whole lot to say about the acting. The cast is so enormous that a lot of characters don’t have a terribly long time to do something noteworthy that makes the actor stand out. That said, no one sucks either, which is impressive given how some of the characters are just too absurd for words, but then again, so is the entire world of Scott Pilgrim, so it works. Mary Elizabeth Winstead and Michael Cera both perform fine in the lead roles. Nothing is overdone; in fact, they underplay their roles often, which helps sell that the crazy premise isn’t quite so crazy in their world. Despite what the ads may show, Cera does more than his typical soft-spoken, “hipster” role. He still plays that, but there’s more depth to Scott that unravels as the film goes on. The actor who really stood out to me was Kieran Culkin as Scott’s roommate Wallace Wells. He has some of the best lines and moments in the film, and steals just about every scene he’s in.

Perhaps the most surprising moment of Scott Pilgrim is when you realize how the movie is covering so much more than one guy’s fight for a girl. It covers relationships, how people change, and even a bit of self-discovery. I have only read the first issue of the comic, but I remember wondering if another league of evil exes for Scott existed or if Scott and Ramona broke up. The film’s handling of these questions was entertaining, and helped make it more relevant than just two hours of crazy fights, comedic banter, and psychotic effects, even if its message is presented in an obvious manner.

It’s hard to categorize Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. It’s a comedy, it’s a fighting movie, it’s a comic book movie, it gets chick flicky. It seems like a movie that can be enjoyed by anyone, but at the same time it can’t. Like Watchmen, those going in without a certain knowledge of what the source material is could have some trouble falling in love as easily as the gaming and comic nerds the film is targeting. But even without all that, if you can go in with an open mind about the absolute absurdity of the effects and premise, it should be a good time.

tl;dr

Scott Pilgrim vs. the World is a nerdtastic movie with a stunningly original presentation, and a consistently funny script. As much as I hate to generalize like this, young people and gaming/comic nerds will likely have little trouble enjoying it, but everyone else might have more varying opinions.

Old shame: Bad Bands I Used to Listen To

On July 30, 2010, In Music, By GeeKay

OK, I admit, I’m sort of copping out this time. Over the past month, I haven’t really had much time to seek out and listen to new music because that’s the way life goes sometimes. However, since I’m trying to write at least one blog entry a month, I decided to write something sort of nostalgic for me: I’m going to review complete discographies of bands I happen to have every CD from because my music taste was terrible in my early/mid teens. These will also be more proper reviews than normal as opposed to my usual one or two sentence Christgau quips (sorry Frosty). Plus this time, you guys have probably actually heard of these bands.

Band #1: System of a Down

These guys were probably the only metal bands I used to actively listen to. I got into them when my brother first got a CD player – back before iPods got popular – and one of the first CDs he got with it was System of a Down’s Toxicity. Since I never heard of the band before, I decided to give them a chance and, since our music collection was extremely tiny, I basically had no choice but to listen to them.

Nowadays, I pretty much stopped listening to them. Partly because their music just gets really repetitive. A typical System album is 50% about the evils of conservatism, 25% about the Armenian genocide, and 25% just random screwing around while Serj screams about bananas, pogo sticks, pizza, or something else totally off the wall for no apparent reason.

System of a Down [1998]
One of the things I never really got about this album was its overall… weirdness. Just look at some of these song titles: “Suite-Pee,” “DDevil,” “CUBErt,” and “P.L.U.C.K.” They almost look like titles Thom Yorke would come up with for Radiohead’s next album that are weird for the sake of being weird.

As for the music itself, it’s by far the band’s heaviest album. This is in part because it is their “rawest” album, featuring both their punk and metal influences prominently, so a lot of the songs are brief, highly distorted aural assaults. If that’s your cup of tea, drink up. Throughout the album, Serj also makes this weird “BRBRBRROOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUGHHHHH” noise that’s hard to transcribe into text on a majority of the songs. As the band went on, he started doing this less and less for some reason (probably because he realized how goofy it sounded).

Toxicity [2001]
Like I said earlier, this was my introduction to the band. So what happened the very moment I pressed play on that CD player years ago?

I heard a single chord. Then a couple chords. Then it started to pick up for a few seconds, but it stopped again and this guy was whispering “they’re trying to build a prison.” I had no idea what was going on. Then Serj Tankian (who will, for the remainder of this review, be known as “Ol’ Tanky”) didn’t sing: he preached about how drugs widely available, but they’re only available to keep people in jail so the man can tax you more. Or something.

After that political rant, you get to listen to “Needles,” a song whose chorus encourages you to pull a tapeworm out of your pooper. Classy. Then there’s “Deer Dance,” another political song that is void of all subtlety. After three tracks of political ranting, they throw in “Jet Pilot,” which is probably just one of the many instances of them messing around. I never knew what it meant anyway, and if a System of a Down song had a message, chances are it would bludgeon you over the head with it several times over, so I’m just writing this off as a song about nothing. Just to save some time with this review, “X,” “Forest,” “ATWA,” “Science,” and “Toxicity” are also all political songs and you can probably figure out by their names what they’re about (except “X,” it’s about how humanity doesn’t need to multiply or nullify its numbers). As per usual SOAD, it’s outright left wing “Republicans are dumb and evil” messages repeated over and over again.

I don’t mean to rant here, but this is what I don’t like about political bands in general: they’re hypocrites. They call everything they don’t agree with “propaganda” that the man is playing over and over again till you agree with their evil reign of fascism. So what do they do? They make songs with repetitive choruses to attempt to brainwash you to see it their way. That’s what I’m getting from it, at least.

Back to the album, “Chop Suey!” is the obligatory Armenian genocide song (I’m thinking “Aerials” is too, but I’m not sure) and it’s probably the band’s most well-known song. “Bounce” and “Shimmy” are just them dicking around again (the former of which is about bringing a “pogo stick” to show a wonderful lady friend a trick but she had “so many friends” in an obvious metaphor for an orgy, the latter of which tells you not to be late for school).

They close it off with “Aerials,” one of their softer pieces. After “Aerials,” though, is a hidden track, which is actually my favorite part of the album. The song (apparently called “Arto”), is interesting because it’s not only the only song on which Ol’ Tanky finally shut his trap, but also because it’s a brief Armenian folk music jam session type thing, which really seems like an interesting change of pace from the rest of the album (or the rest of their discography, for that matter).

Steal This Album [2002]
I can’t really say much about “Steal This Album!” Not because I haven’t listened to it, but, I’ve pretty much already reviewed it. It’s basically outtakes and B-sides and so on from the first two albums. It’s not really a big change for them or anything, so there’s not much to discuss: the sonic assaults from the first album are there and so are a couple of their more attempts at “art metal.” It opens up with Ol’ Tanky screaming about a pizza pie with pepperoni, green peppers, mushrooms, olives, and chives, and it really makes me hungry.

One of the more notable things about this album is their song, “Boom!” had a music video directed by Michael Moore. Aieogoeiwhgteasaihaeisotew;r32;t6iq3;2wafeqa3twogegyew4egf3qw Sorry about that. I had to clean the puke off my keyboard after I typed double M’s name.

Mezmerize [2005]
This is the more recent shift in their sound. In it, guitarist Daron Malakian started singing more often. He did do backup vocals on some of their earlier songs, but this time around, he’s actually taking lead vocal duty on a few songs. And by “duty” I mean it in that immature frat boy “you said doodie” way; his singing is terrible.

It should also be noted that half the lyrics were co-written by Daron and Ol’ Tanky. Which means it took two people to come up with “My cock is much bigger than yours/My cock can walk right through the door.” Truly these two are the Lennon/McCartney of our generation.

Again, virtually every song is either a left wing political one, so it feels a bit stale reviewing so many of their songs at once. Whether they’re speaking out against censorship (“Violent Pornography”) or war (“B.Y.O.B.” – which in this context means “bring your own bombs”), you already know what the song’s gonna be about before you hear it. Though “Cigaro,” “Radio/Video,” and “This Cocaine Makes Me Feel Like I’m On This Song” – the three songs that don’t’ seem to be about anything – are in a row, so your mini break from the political rants is extended this time.

Hypnotize [2005]
This was System of a Down’s last album before they went on hiatus a year later. It’s the second disc to Mezmerize, so it has the same general sound and whatnot, so again, like STA, I’ve pretty much reviewed it already.

Again, Daron’s the singer on a lot of songs and now that he’s writing a lot of lyrics, too, he really comes up with gems. My personal favorite is “Lonely Day,” which features insightful lines like “such a lonely day should be banned/It’s a day that I can’t stand,” then subsequently butchering the English language with the chorus of “The most loneliest day of my life.” In the immortal words of Zappa, Shut Up ‘n Play Yer Guitar, Daron: you can’t sing and you can’t write lyrics. Your band wasn’t as bad when you knew when to shut up and didn’t feel like having a duet with Ol’ Tanky every other track.

It ends with the conclusion to “Soldier Side,” a song Mezmerize contains the intro to, but really, it’s not worth the six month gap between albums, or even the 70 or so minutes between them when listening to both discs together. They should have thrown that on the other disc and used the other closer as this one’s closer.

Band #2: Tool

My brother and I got into these guys around when 10,000 Days came out when I was 14 or 15 and progressive rock was new territory for me. I now regret having a single one of their albums because, frankly, I don’t know who’s more pretentious: the band or the fans.

I already reviewed their last two albums, but this time around, we’re gonna take a deeper look at them.

Opiate [1992]
While Tool is best known for their more progressive schlock, this is thrash schlock, so it’s a different kind of bad music. Like System, they feel like letting you know all about their politics here and makes you wonder what happened to subtle writing or if it ever existed in the first place. Luckily this is just an EP so you don’t have to put up with more than 30 minutes of these pseudo-philosophers so it’s over before you know it.

Undertow [1993]
Again, this is one of their less “progressive” albums and is instead a more metal-influenced one. I’d also like to point out the maturity of the band: the last track is track #69 (they threw in a bunch of less-than-a-second silent tracks before it). They also threw in a bunch of chirping cricket noises that go absolutely nowhere and it’s just the same two second loop for several minutes just to make the album 69 minutes long.

A handful of the songs are harmless enough, but you also have to put up with “Prison Sex,” an angsty autobiographical song about being abused as a kid. I don’t mean to be insensitive, but I just can’t bring myself to pity Maynard in this song. At first I felt bad for this, but then I realized it’s because he just can’t sing anything emotionally. He’s a good technical singer, I guess, but when it comes to actually making you feel something, he just… can’t seem to do that (to me, at least), because he focuses too much on pseudo-philosophical tripe and not enough time expressing something you’re able to even begin to attempt to relate to. There’s also “Undertow,” which is really boring and “Flood” is just unmemorable. “Disgustipated” – the final track – is Maynard imitating a preacher for a little while, followed by a lot of unnecessary cricket chirping (seriously, the cricket loop clocks in at over 7 minutes), and is concluded with a phone message left by someone who should be locked in an insane asylum – and you should be committed as well if you actually sit through all that cricket noise.

Ænima
The only album by Tool remotely worth giving a crap about. This is where they started showing a much more pronounced King Crimson influence and became proggier. The album, being made by Tool, however, is not without flaw. For one, I can’t help but feel as though a couple tracks go on too long without going anywhere. The second track, “Eulogy,” for example, has an extremely boring intro that lasts around two minutes before it actually picks up and goes anywhere. Also, why does “Third Eye” have to be nearly fourteen minutes long? Just so Maynard can say “PRYING OPEN MY THIRD EYE” like four hundred times? Or is it just so they can sample Bill Hicks in an intro that does almost nothing else?

As usual, the lyrics are also remarkably stupid, but if you just ignore them and pay attention to the rest of the band, you might actually enjoy a song or two.

A few people complain about the “filler” on this album because nearly half the songs are just brief “experimental” cuts that are things like a motorcycle and a crying baby or some guy reciting a cookie recipe in German to make it sound like a Nazi rally or some guy leaving a threatening message or some guy playing a really boring drum solo while it sounds like an amplifier explodes, but some of those are actually some of the more enjoyable songs on the album for me, if only because they actually have an ending without unnecessary repetition.

It’s a shame it has one of the worst album titles ever.

Lateralus
I hate this album. I loathe it. I can’t stand a single song on it except maybe “Eon Blue Apocalypse” and only then because that’s a really brief guitar instrumental.

Why does this album have to exist? It takes that “unnecessary repetition” problem they had on a handful of tracks from their previous album and decided to apply it to every song.

Not only does that make it really boring and easy to fall asleep to, but the band just decides to be as pretentious as possible. There are dozens of sites out there made by Tool fans that claim things like “if you pay attention, X comes in at [time in a song ie: 3:27] and that’s actually a reference to [obscure reference to anything from chakra, the first digits of a mathematical formula about spirals, Jungian psychology, or something else that’s “intellectual”].”

So what does that kind of stuff mean? Either Tool fans like to overanalyze everything their favorite band does (likely) or that the members of Tool are just a bunch of nerds that like to make abstract references to things completely irrelevant from the rest of their songs just to prove how smart they are (equally likely). I don’t care if you’re able to do that kind of stuff. Maybe I’m stupid (likely, but perhaps irrelevant to the message I’m trying to convey) but when I listen to music, I want to hear something that… I don’t know… either gives me an emotional reaction of some sort, entertains me, or is otherwise enjoyable. You know, the same reason why most people I know listen to music. Throwing in references like that does not contribute to either the emotional or entertainment appeal of a song to me, so instead, when you sing to make the syllables of each line match up to the Fibonacci sequence, it just makes me want to be like Film Brain and yell “SYMBOLISM!!!!!!11!!” On that note, I think I’ve been watching a bit too much TGWTG as of late…

Anyway, if you’re into quasi-intellectual elitist tripe, this is the album for you.

10,000 Days [2006]
I already tore this album to shreds with my older review, so I’ll try to keep this brief. This is worse than Lateralus. This is one of the worst albums of my collection and I feel ashamed for owning it. It has all the stupid symbolism, all the bad songwriting that revolves around making a song last ten minutes too long. It’s got an actual emotional ballad in it called “Wings for Marie” about the death of Maynard James Keenan’s mom, so it’s glad they’re actually expressing an emotion for a change, but aside from it, everything else just sucks too hard to even consider listening to. In case you didn’t read my review the first time around, I’d just like to remind you to avoid it at all costs.

Band #3: Audioslave

Another band I loved so much during my early/mid teens and eventually got their entire discography for some reason. I remember when I first listened to them I didn’t even realize they were the singer from Soundgarden with the instrumentalists of Rage Against the Machine. Then again, when I found that out, I barely knew Soundgarden and never even heard of Rage.

Audioslave [2002]
When getting into a band, I assume a logical place to start is their first album. That’s what I did with these guys and they’re one of the few bands I actually did that to.

I remember I used to think “Cochise” was such an awesome hard rocker. Then I listened to Soundgarden and thought “That’s the same singer?” Since Chris picked up smoking and got old after quitting Soundgarden, he lost his vocal range and sounds bad. In “Cochise” he sounds like he’s choking on rusty nails.

The problem with this album is that is suffers from AC/DC syndrome. That is, a lot of the songs sound the same. “Set It Off” and “Exploder” basically try to be the heavy songs. “I Am The Highway,”” Like A Stone,” and “Getaway Car” also get kind of samey. “Show Me How To Live” and “Gasoline,” which are right next to each other on the album, also sound so ridiculously close they might as well be the same track. “Shadow on the Sun” and “Light My Way” use dynamics in that gratuitous soft verse loud chorus format. “Hypnotize” is pretty much the only standout track that does something different than the rest of the songs and even then, it doesn’t do much. Audioslave’s self-titled debut isn’t terrible, it just doesn’t do much and you’d expect a lot more creativity from this lineup.

Out of Exile [2005]
This is where Audioslave decided to branch out a little and start changing their sound. They went for a slightly poppier route than their previous attempt at hard rock and power ballads. That’s not to say they abandoned trying to play hard rock altogether: the first song does it, as does “Man Or Animal” and “Drown Me Slowly,” and the title track tries to go for that epic ballad thing they attempted a few times on the last album. The singles, “Be Yourself” and “Doesn’t Remind Me,” though, definitely established the band as a pop group and they also seemed to start writing more love and relationship songs like “Heaven’s Dead,” “Dandelion,” and “#1 Zero.” Unfortunately, half the tracks are so unmemorable due to the aforementioned AC/DC syndrome.

Revelations [2006]
The third and final installment by this unusual supergroup. Again, they decided on a style shift, because they apparently can’t decide what kind of band they want to be. This is probably because when you get musicians that play different genres together, you’re probably going to wind up with a lot of disagreements on what kind of music they want to play.

This time, they decided to go for a more funk rock approach, which seemed to be more up the alley of the Rage members. In interviews before the album came out, guitarist Tom Morello often said it was supposed to be “Led Zeppelin meets Earth, Wind, and Fire.” I don’t hear either here.

What I do hear, however, is a lot of uninspired funk rock. The closest thing it has in common with Led Zeppelin is that the album went down like one. It was Audioslave’s worst selling album and is generally seen as their worst album. Sure, a few critics panned their debut, but it still got enough positive reviews to offset it. Their second album was slightly better received, but fans and critics gave Revelations lukewarm reviews at best, glaringly negative ones at worst.

An interesting thing I never noticed about Audioslave until now is that they really suck at closing albums. A good album will end itself with a unique song that would seem like a logical choice for a closer. Audioslave, on the other hand, just tack one of the most generic songs from the album on the end, as if it’s just for those that are still listening and they’re surprised someone would actually sit through a full album.

Seeing how this blog entry is nearing the 3,500 word mark, I can’t help but feel I’m getting carried away. I just felt like ranting about some of the bands that got me into music but don’t listen to anymore aside from a guilty pleasure track or two since I couldn’t think of anything else to write this month. Feel free to reply to the post Faderbot made so I feel like someone at least skimmed through this novel I just typed. Also feel free to share some of the bands you’ve “outgrown” (or just don’t listen to anymore) so we can all laugh at ourselves and our collectively bad tastes. Unless I’m the only one.

Slug’s 2010 Albums pt. II

On July 13, 2010, In Music, By slug_man

Streets of Gold (3OH!3)

Part of the appeal of Colorado-based 3OH!3 is the obvious overtone of sarcasm and blatant satire of the Hip-hop genre. Another part of their appeal is their powerful sound that makes it fun to listen to on headphones. Neither of the aforementioned parts are evident on this album. I’d rather listen to a vacuum cleaner sucking up bread crumbs.

/\/\/\/\Y/\ (M.I.A.)

That says MAYA, and don’t worry, you won’t need to recognize it anywhere, because its a terrible album as well. “Born Free” has some appeal simply because the accompanying music video is pretty hilarious, but besides that the entire album isn’t worth it.

Maniac Meat (Tobacco)

Tobacco has a pretty harsh sound and doesn’t sound too endearing in the ears at first (even the album art is hard on the eyes), but when it warms up some of the tracks are actually enjoyable to listen to. Guest appearances by Beck are welcome in this album, and somehow manages to make it suck less. Definitely for people who either know Tobacco already, but not for anyone else, really.

Treats (Sleigh Bells)

The blasting bass of Sleigh Bells can turn some people off to the music, but audiophiles will be in absolute musical heaven. “A/B Machines” and “Tell ‘em” are great parts of the album. However as an artistic piece, “Treats” doesn’t really have a lot of musical depth, mostly relying on hitting you with as much bass as possible. You’d have about as much fun listening to loud waterfalls.

In the Night (Dream Evil)

LOL 80s METAL. LOL SWEDEN. Ok ok ok, imagine metallica’s good stuff, only with good studio quality, and corny as hell. You get Dream Evil.

Let Me In (Kinetix)

Probably my favorite album on this list, but I am not without bias. Denver-based Kinetix has been a total hit in the Denver area, mostly because they are a picture-perfect definition of what Denverites listen to in their music. Its a jam-band, through and through, with plenty of solos across the instruments and jazz-influenced beats. I’m a sucker for Phish and STS9 with their similar style much like the rest of Colorado, so you probably can get a good idea of what this band sounds like. Produced by the guitarist from flobots, Kinetix worked out the problems I had with their previous albums (poor studio quality, 10-minute songs with 5-minute solos) and even wrangled a better lead vocals.

Just… make sure you skip the sappy “To See You Go”
Diamond Eyes (Deftones)

The grungy experimental rock band isn’t terrible, they’re just… boring.

Video Game Music

On June 28, 2010, In Gaming, Music, By GeeKay

It’s a GeeKay double whammy – two blog posts in the same day. This time I figured since we’re mainly a gaming forum and I’m the self-appointed music guy here, I might as well give my opinion on some of my personal favorite video game music. Keep in mind these are only from the games I’ve personally played (which means no Nobuo Uematsu) so they’re mainly songs from games that I enjoyed, either because of their context or because they were just great songs overall. This list is also just stuff I can think of from the top of my head, so this is going to probably come across as disorganized or something. Anyway, without further ado, here we go.

Team Fortress 2

I hate being predictable and since pretty much everyone here knows this is one of my favorite games, I’m going to go ahead and get this one out of the way. Sure, in the actual game itself, there is no background music because it would be too distracting in a game that’s Heavy (get it?) on communication and attention to your surroundings. The title screen, however, features a healthy mix of different songs. My personal favorite song on the title screen would probably have to be “Faster Than a Speeding Bullet” since its percussion section and chaotic melody just make you feel like you’re about to go to war, which works well considering this is an FPS about engaging in as senseless violence as possible.

Team Fortress 2 – Faster Than a Speeding Bullet

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time

Here’s another elephant in the room I just feel like getting out of the way. While I don’t know if I’d say it’s as good as everyone else seems to think it is, it’s still a fun game overall. As far as the music goes, I know I’m being predictable here, but I’ve always loved the Gerudo Valley theme. In fact, when I was eight or nine or however old I was when I played it, I remember I used to go to Gerudo Valley with no other purpose but to listen to the music. The guitars and horns just worked well together to create that desert atmosphere they were going for.

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time – Gerudo Valley

Advance Wars

I’ve always felt that the music in this game was awesome. Every CO had his or her own theme song and a lot of them fit their personalities. Perhaps the most fitting, however, was Grit’s. Grit is a character that is laid back and, despite being from the game’s equivalent of Russia, acts more like a southerner. So what did they do? They gave him a theme that’s so lazy it sounds like it doesn’t even want to start, so when it does it goes into this bluesy jam with a sort of country twang to it.

Advance Wars – Grit’s Theme

Age of Mythology

Age of Mythology had what I like to call “thinking man’s music.” This is basically pretentious talk for music that’s easy to ignore (you don’t want your soundtrack to be too overwhelming in an RTS since not everyone thinks well with music going on), yet it’s also interesting enough to be appreciable to those who like to pay attention to a game’s background music. The music itself was ambient world music based on the culture you were playing, which gave it a nice touch. The music was simple, yet effective and with punny titles like “Greek to Me,” “Of Norse Not,” “ND Nile,” as well as just downright awkward titles like “I Wish I Could Throw Shapes” or the choral main theme “A Cat Named Mittens,” the titles themselves were often at least as good as the songs.

Age of Mythology – Greek to Me

The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind

Morrowind is a game with perhaps my favorite video game theme song of all time. This might have to do with the fact that it was also a prominent background song throughout the game, so it might be in part due to the fact that I’ve heard it so much it grew on me, but I’d like to think that even if I didn’t hear it so much I’d like it just as much. From its booming drum intro to its beautiful melodies, it’s an adventurous sounding song you could get lost in, which definitely fits Morrowind perfectly: it’s a game all about getting absorbed into the game’s world, journeying across the fictional land of Vvardenfell.

Morrowind Main Theme

Neverwinter Nights

Talk about a game with a flawless soundtrack! There have been times when I played it on multiplayer with a couple of my nerd friends (and yes, I’m allowed to call them the n word since I’m one too for playing a D&D based game) and one of them complimented the soundtrack right as I was thinking “this song is awesome!” There is not a single song in the game that I feel was poorly done and it all evokes the emotion your character would be feeling in the area. For example, most of the music is suspenseful, all the battle songs create a sense of tension, and the tavern music is upbeat and inviting. If you haven’t played NWN, I’d suggest checking it out, not only for its musical qualities, but also because it’s a nice piece of gaming history: it’s the game that put BioWare on the map and it’s the game they’ve been rehashing and ripping off ever since.

Neverwinter Nights – City Dock (day)

I’ll probably make a follow up to this once I actually sit down and think of some games rather than listing a few from the top of my head, but for now, those are some of my favorite game songs I can think of. What game music do you fine folks enjoy?

GeeKay’s Music Reviews III

On June 28, 2010, In Music, By GeeKay

This month I’m doing things a little different. You see, anyone can review music they have listened to and, in fact, most reviewers do. That gets boring, however, so this time, I’m going to review music I haven’t even listened to at all.

Merzbow: 13 Japanese Birds [2010]
While releasing a 13 disc album may seem like a ballsy move at first, keep in mind, it’s just 13 discs of noise, so he’s probably just playing a Gameboy while sampling a folding chair for 12 hours. 0|

Massive Attack: Heligoland [2010]
Heligoland (an obvious portmanteau of helium and Legoland) is what you’d expect from its title: it doesn’t quite work well together. Don’t get me wrong, I like helium as much as the next guy, but once it starts making Legoland float away, it makes me miserable. C±

Minus the Bear: Omni [2010]
Minus the bear (divided across ten tracks) add one to their discography and multiply with all the hipster chicks. *

You Me at Six: Hold Me Down [2010]
I’ll hold him down if you beat him for making this monstrosity. D-

NoMeansNo: 0+2=1½ [2010]
I’m no math whiz but I’m sure that’s Wrong. ***

65daysofstatic: We Were Exploding Anyway [2010]
EXPLOSIONS! YEEEEAAAAAAAH! 8D A

Yeasayer: Odd Blood [2010]
Hooked on tonics. **

Toy Story 3 Review (Minor Spoilers)

On June 18, 2010, In Movies, By Aranel

I’m a big Pixar fan and an even bigger Toy Story fanboy (I rank Toy Story within my top 3 favorite movies ever), but I don’t feel I’m exaggerating when I say that Pixar just can’t fail. Toy Story 3 is their latest animated masterpiece that can be appreciated by just about anyone. Kids will be charmed by the movie while adults catch the other jokes Pixar crams in. The characters, both old and new, are the real stars here; they’re vibrant and each bring something different to the screen. As Pixar has become known to do, Toy Story 3 is more than your typical family film as Pixar tackles a theme of moving on with life. Call me what you will, but I’ll admit I teared up quite a bit at the end.

Toy Story 3 opens with a beautiful segment that celebrates a child’s imagination, transitioning into a montage showing how Andy has grown up . This sets up the plot as Andy has to decide whether to donate, trash, or store his old toys. Typical comic screw ups occur leading our toys to Sunnyside Daycare. Here Pixar does its take on retirement homes as the daycare toys (led by Lotso, a stuffed teddy bear) show Buzz, Woody and company the comforts that would come from daycare, including always being played with. When the promise of constant playtime ends up being constant torture, Buzz and the gang want out, but the other toys won’t hear of it. Here, the meat of the film becomes a Pixar spoof of prison break films, complete with a prison guard, patrolling trucks, an outer wall, and a security monkey.

Pixar has really outdone themselves when coming up with the new characters. The characters rarely feel half-assed, and bring different material to the table. Big Baby and Monkey succeed in being some of the creepiest things I’ve seen in a Pixar movie, though that’s not to say their parts aren’t funny. Barbie and Ken are Pixar’s spoofs of the rich, spoiled, cliched, and gender stereotypes. Mr. Pricklepants and Chuckles the Clown had me laughing just about anytime they spoke. Finally, Lotso is incredibly dark as the film’s villain, but deep enough for there to be a bit (<- keyword) of sympathy for him. Probably my biggest issue with Toy Story 3 was that I would have liked to have seen more of some characters, but the film is still immensely enjoyable.

Toy Story 3 succeeds by mixing in references to the previous films to hilarious results as well as some truly touching moments. The aliens in particular constantly evoke memories of their past exploits. Also familiar is, as Hamm puts it, “return of the astro nut” as Buzz reverts to Space Ranger mode. Also prevalent is the type of pain Jesse endured when her past owner, Emily, gave her up.

But where Toy Story 3 can really shine is its poignant moments. You never doubt for a second that these toys are a family, and it’s something that maybe gets drummed into our heads a bit too clearly. Whenever Woody and the gang are all together discussing their feelings of being abandoned or their duty to Andy, it’s rarely over dramatic thanks to some brilliant voice acting and animation work. There’s one scene in particular I won’t describe, but watching the toys join together as the family we’ve come to know them as was as beautiful as it was sad. Yeah, I think a couple tears fell in the closing 15 minutes. Don’t worry though, the credits will have you walking out of the theatre with a big smile as you appreciate the amazing end to a brilliant trilogy.

tl;dr It’s Pixar, it’s awesome, go see it.

Tagged with: pixar • story • toy

Slug and Mikaya review Kaichou wa Maid-sama

On June 12, 2010, In Anime/Manga, By slug_man

Miss, why aren't you in the kitchen?

slug:I’m not a big fan of shoujo really. Special A was the first shoujo I watched some of, and I dropped it after the 4th episode out of sheer boredom and overdose of cliché plotpoints. Bishonen guys make me puke, and the stereotypical empowered female generally turns me off. I mean, how many of those women actually exist in Japan? Moreover, how many of those dickweed Bishie guys exist in any part of the world? That being said, the characters in Kaichou wa Maid-sama not only exceed expectations, but actually keep me interested enough to the point that I’m looking forward to the next episode. What can I say? Its a nice change of pace from Angel beats and Giant Killing. Arakawa just is on a whole different level; then again, so is SHAFT so we’ll not talk about that. I still wouldn’t tell too many people that I watch Maid-sama, just like how I didn’t tell anyone I watch Kämpfer (which is the show I think you were thinking of, GW. TELL NO ONE). The plot is actually kind of decent in maid-sama, even if it SOUNDS cliché.

Mikey: How is the plot decent? Well there’s a girl named Misaki who is the strong-type and greatly dislikes men. She’s is the Student Council

President of her highschool, which doesn’t have a very good reputation due to the lechery, laziness, and chaos that goes on in there. Oh, and ever since the school recently became co-ed, the female population in the school are minority,

so they are usually victim to the boy’s over-the-top antics. Of course, Misaki, protector of women everywhere, will be there to fuck their shit up whether they decide to harass a girl or run in the hallway. Misaki’s overall goal as the student council president is to reform the highschool into what she believes is good, wholesome, and safe.

However, despite her appearance and mannerisms, Misaki has a dark secret: she works at a maid cafe. Due to the tough financial situation that her family is suffering, it’s the only thing she can do to receive enough cash. That isn’t to say that she hates her job. If anything, she’s quite good at her job and she gets along very well with her all-female coworkers and manager.

To maintain her to hard-boiled reputation, she has successfully kept this secret from everybody at the school and will go to great lengths to keep it that way. However, a popular boy named Usui, who goes to the same school as Misaki, soon discovers her her in her maid uniform and figures out her backstory. Misaki’s life is now more stressful, Usui is pleased, and funniness ensues.

I’ve probably made this summary a lot longer than it really should be. While it might be a little cliche to some, the anime presents the plot rather nicely, and it makes you forget the imperfections with its great humor and high quality animation. And of course, really GOOD characters.

slug:There’s something about Misaki, I think, that really tugs at the strings in my heart (and nutbladder). She’s got polar opposites working here, where she plays an uptight, man-hating les at school, then a somewhat shy, kind, dere-dere maid. Its odd to see a tsundere character playing a female lead in an anime for girls, especially since they’re more common in Hentai games than shoujo. Usually there’s a strong female lead, which Misaki definitely is, but what’s out-of-the ordinary is the whole bit where she works as a maid. A good Tsundere is paramount for romantic comedy, and the fact that this is evident not only in the plot, but also the stock characterization leaves me with a warm fuzzy feeling rather than a nauseous one.

Her looks are definitely a sound choice. She generally wears men’s clothes when not in the maid uniform, so it has a very tomboyish look. Long, brunette hair keeps her from looking like a les. The yellow eyes kind of bother me, but she looks in the yellow school uniform. Hell, she looks good in everything. I could barely keep it together during the “dress-like-a-dude day at the maid café” episode. This show is potentially bad for my health if they keep pulling stuff like this. Altogether she’s a great female lead; not too over the top. The woman hair, bishie-boy Usui isn’t that bad either, even if he does come off as a creep sometimes.

Mikey: And as for Usui, me and Slug both agreed that he was a pretty damn awesome character. Even though I’m a girl who is very easily suckered into the genre, I have to concur with Slug that a lot of the romantic male leads in shoujo have little to no presonality and all they do is fluster the female protag until she’s a stuttering, blushing mess. …Though really that’s something Usui also does to Misaki when I think about it.

Usui’s personality is far too interesting to be stereotypical. He’s a kind of impassive guy who always seems to observe everything around him. He usually has this bored look plastered on his face and makes delightfully snarky comments at any chance he gets. I should also mention that he is very talented in things like cooking, playing chess, and other things we probably haven’t discovered from him yet. While he may appear uninterested in everything that is going on, there is only one person that is always in his mind– Misaki. He always seems to be there for her when she needs help or rescuing (which is rare), and it seems that he really cares for her. Though sometimes it creeps me out on all the times he’s pinned Misaki against a wall, saying things really close to her face (I’ve lost count on how many times he has done that).

At first, for me, I thought he looked a little bland. His appearance was a cookie-cutter anime guy with the slightly long, spiky hair that has been done a million times. But as the episodes went on and more focus came on him, he really stands out. Also, him in a Navy uniform with his hair held back in one episode… kind of pleased me.

…B-but um, anyway. Honestly? This guy has the makings of a main character, if not more than Misaki. With only 9 episodes out, we know pretty much nothing about Usui’s past or motivations. I have a feeling that later on we’re going to get some pretty serious exposition on him. I say serious because he has a whole ED to himself and it’s pretty dark, showing some little snippets of what I assume is his past, but we really can’t identify what’s going on. Whatever happens, I look forward to what we will be learning about him.

slug: I couldn’t help but notice how well flushed-out each character is in this series, especially the minor characters. Each one seems well-developed rather than sounding like cookie-cutter characters taken straight from other anime. Makes one wonder if this is based on the author’s own experiences, but its based on a manga, so who knows. The whole show feels a lot more relatable as a result (not DEEP, mind you, just more of a believable story). If anything, the characters sell the story better than the story tries to sell itself. What I mean is, the plot is far less convoluted because the characters fill the plot, rather than the plot trying to explain the characters. There’s also a great amount of irony employed, almost as if they’re satirizing shoujo anime in general. Angry-Misaki is suddenly surrounded by flowers and bubbles, and a bored-looking Usui is also juxtaposed with the same border and effects (compare to Ouran High School Club, in which every time one of those motherf*ckers smiles there’s a goddamn harp and a crapton of flowers).

Obviously, males aren’t portrayed in that great of a light, with all of Seika high school acting like total perverts. However, considering the fact that the school Misaki attends used to be all-male and she works at a maid café where all individuals are generally perverse, this bit makes some sense. I can list all the ways that good character design makes this show great, but I’ll spare the details. I’m looking forward to Usui-background as well, because he’s probably my favorite character in this show.

Mikey: Alright, I think we’ve gushed enough about the characters. Let’s talk about the animation and presentation and then finally wrap this review up.

Maid-Sama! has pretty good animation, especially from what I’ve seen in a shoujo. Because, you know, a lot of shoujo animation isn’t spectacular. They mostly consist of bishounen sparkle and they only end up looking cheap and boring in each frame. (Tokyo Mew Mew ohmygod) The only shoujo I’ve watched that had good animation I can think of from the top of my head is Princess Tutu and Kimi ni Todoke. Maid-Sama! also has a pretty good art style. In fact, I’d say it carried the original style of the manga pretty well. The only think that irks me is the tacky design of the school uniform Misaki wears. I mean: green, really? The whole outfit looks really weird, with it’s lime green jacket and light brown skirt. Though I could easily see that a school like Seika (where Usui and Misa attend) would have such an flamboyant design as their official uniform.

GK: weeaboos

slug: Speaking of uniforms, I wish they wouldn’t make the rival school look like the Hitler youth. Not that it isn’t appropriate, because it visually identifies the viewer with the bad guy. Really, I just think its too cliché. There’s plenty of cliché in the series, but let’s face it, anime has never been extraordinarily unique in storytelling. The strength lies in the premise and the characters, both of which Maid-sama does really well.

I mean, we can all guess that in the end, Misaki and Usui hook up, rival school gets torn down or something, and everyone lives happily ever after. A few questions still remain that keep me interested: Will everyone find out that Misaki works as a maid? Will she be able to continue to support her near-poverty family? Will we see Usui dress up as a maid? Gee, I hope I find out soon.

Kaichou wa maid-sama is running for thirteen episodes. At the time of publishing, 11 episodes are available. Oh yeah, and check out the OP and ED singles. They’re pretty good.

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